October 20, 2012, 8:22 pm
For those who do not yet know him, Bernie the Wolf Wolfson is our trusted internet draft expert as well as our advice guru for making the world a better place. On Friday, he boarded Flight 750 – this time being the one who needed some help.It was just one of those days for Bernie. His mom was angry with him for no good reason. Some scary Doberman pinscher chased him down the street and made him drop his fresh block of cheese, and the roadways were just full of mean, hateful, impatient drivers. Poor guy.
Let’s all make sure that we send some kind thoughts to Bernie. The last time we caught up with him we discovered that his mother, who already has diabetes, has given up on her quest to quit smoking and apparently she has been resorting to verbal abuse of Mr. Wolfson as a coping mechanism.
Bernie insists that his momma has been saying a lot of cruel things to him because his accomplishment have not yet matched up to the accomplishments of his brother who is a manager at Applebee’s
Unfortunately, the problems don’t end there. Bernie maintains that his mother’s acting out as actually caused his dog Luna to become nicotine dependant because she’s been offering her nicotine matches to the dog as a joke and poor little Luna got hooked on the stuff.
If you have any words of encouragement for Bernie, please feel free to talk to him on twitter. But make sure you don’t confuse his real account, @BernieTheWolf, with the fake one that some people have made to write mean, hurtful things about Bernie. The fake account is @100FeetFromASchoolGuy and has a picture of Mel Kiper looking at Bernie’s mother’s rear end and giving a thumbs up.